Minnesota car salesman Jerry Lundegaard's inept crime falls apart due to his and his henchmen's bungling and the persistent police work of the quite pregnant Marge Gunderson.

Count Dracula, a 15th-century prince, is condemned to live off the blood of the living for eternity. Young lawyer Jonathan Harker is sent to Dracula's castle to finalise a land deal, but when the Count sees a photo of Harker's fiancée, Mina, the spitting image of his dead wife, he imprisons him and sets off for London to track her down.

A spoiled and self-absorbed man who has squandered his inheritance, Henry Graham (Walter Matthau) is desperate to find a way to maintain his lavish lifestyle. Henry sees an opportunity when he meets Henrietta Lowell (Elaine May), an awkward and bookish heiress. Though Henry courts Henrietta, he has no intention of remaining with her, and he develops a surprisingly sinister scheme. As Henry attempts to execute his plan, he finds that seeing it through may not be as easy as he had thought.